Sunday, January 15, 2012

36 Weeks = A Very Anxious Mommy to Be!!!

Before I talk about my anxiety, I need to first say how thankful I am and how blessed I feel that I can even say 'I am 36 weeks'!  There was a point when Lee and I were very sure we wouldn't make it this far but with the prayers of our friends and family and by the Grace of God, Baby Jack is still growing and getting ready for his debut.  We have LESS than 30 days to go!!!  Now, I'll talk about my anxiety..........

I started back to work (at the first of the year) 2 days a week and it is going really well.  It's nice to be in the office and have coworkers to talk to.  This is our busy time of year though, so reality is, it has been just that, busy and a little stressful.  I take it a day at time.  Along with going back to work, I picked up a cold and have been trying to get rid of it since Tuesday.  My doctor called in an antibiotic on Friday and that has definitely kicked in.  I'm starting to feel much better.  It's one thing to have trouble sleeping because you are just uncomfortable and have indigestion but put in not able to breath and it's downright miserable. 

I am now going to my OB once a week until Jack arrives.  We have scheduled our appointments out and I believe they are the 18th, 24th, 31st and February 10th.  Did I mention LESS than 30 days to go!!  Jack's room is done but as I have figured out, he will be sleeping in a bassinet in our room for a while before he moves to his room.  So his room is more like a 'storage' spot for the time being.  We need more room.  I think this summer we will start the 'house buying' process.  I think we have everything we could need for Jack.  Now we just wait for his arrival.  This is where my nerves kick in.  I'm nervous about labor, I'm nervous about becoming a mother.  I'm nervous about taking care of a tiny baby that I call my own, yet I have a sense of peace about this too.  It's hard to write in words how exactly I feel.  Especially now, it is surreal to me that we don't have but a month (or less) to go.  It is starting to sink in that Jack could come at any time and the question is, am I prepared.  Yes, I have the material stuff that he needs but mentally, I'm still trying to wrap my head around this.  What a miracle it will be once he arrives and the love that Lee and I will feel.  I'm so excited for that day and yet I am still so nervous:) 

I guess I should say, my cup runneth over......

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